Had breakfast with some of the girls I went to high school with. It didn't and doesn't matter if we "hung out" back then... we DO now, and thats what's important. I love them. They love me.
And this (below photo) is what we showed him... Neighbors watching, some, taking down our license plate numbers and actually calling the police. Oh yeah, we're bad !
I came home to an empty house, (always a treat!), and decided to get "stuff" done, and enjoy the time I had before it was quickly gone.
So as I was cleaning the toilets, (don't act like you wouldn't be doing the same thing, I know better!), music blaring for the whole neighborhood to hear whether they wanted too or not, & I remembered my Sweet Baby Girl was at the mall with her friends, and thanked God for them in her life. The pure fun I knew she was having, and the peace and gratefulness in knowing she is such a good kid and that she was with good kids...
Our first born son, Benjamin who will be 26 next month is home from Afghanistan if only for a couple of weeks. A couple of things that I realized that are so real as I sat beside him on the couch quietly listening to all four peeps talking and laughing about their growing up years...
He has been through more then I ever thought he would be in his 26 years, and I am more proud of him then I knew I could be. When your a mum, and your first born son is in a war zone 24/7, it changes your perspective on life, even if you don't want it to... it does. For the good I think.
He is my first born son, and NO distance or time, is ever going to change that.
He is the oldest of his three siblings, and that is and always will be in his heart, and part of who he is.
That my prayer since our children were all home and playing Legos and babies at the kitchen table, of them being in each others lives when Blue Eyes and I are gone, and they are adults... God is honoring.
And today, I realized again that we, us, you, me... we are the people we were when we were little pumpkin heads. When our eyes were slanted, and our front teeth had what seemed like a huge space between them. We are those peeps. Those kids. That is us. Today. Not that God doesn't come in and smooth out our edges that have been hardened through experiences or circumstances the world has given us... He does. But what I'm so coming to realize clearly, so very clearly, is that He, God, comes in, if we let Him, and gently, lovingly, brings us back to who He created us to be...
He. He will and wants too, love us back to how we started. Before. Before the world got in the way.
I can tell you that I know this from the very depths of who I am.
The deepest part of my being.
I see it in my children. Each of them, in different ways. Ways that they wouldn't know.
How?
By the "who", of who they are.
And I am grateful. Grateful that in the 18 years that have passed of my mum being gone, I still see her. Feel her. In me. In my children.
And its all good.
Hugs From My Heart
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