I haven't written on my blog for so very long, I've almost forgotten I had one. If anyone is familiar with Tumblr, (http://livinginhisgratefulness.tumblr.com) that is what has kept me busy as of late.
She said, "Lisa, I read your posts on Face Book daily, and it seems like your life is a Disney Show. "
To that, I cringed and said, "Seriously!!! Your not the first person to say that, and its SOOO not true. Not even a little bit."
When I asked her to explain to me what she meant, she said that it wasn't so much that my life seemed "perfect" but that I am grateful for everything. And you know what, she's right. I got to thinking about my life. What it looks like to others. Face Book others. "Friends" And I thought, if they only knew...
This is some of what my "Disney Show" life, consists of ...
-adultery
-holding hands with my sisters and brothers around our mothers hospital bed, praying... as she passed from this world to the next.
-the death of my oldest brother
-alcoholism
-molestation of a child
-a runaway teen
-no electricity for a summer
-a mother in law who has disowned me
-repossession of a vehicle
-spending the night in my vehicle, in a parking lot
-rebellious, disrespectful teenagers
-fore-closer on our house that Blue Eyes built for me, and our daughter was born in.
-our oldest son going to war
-my first and so far only daughter in law, not talking or wanting anything to do with me.
And thats just off the top of my head.
I'm not sharing any of this because I want sympathy. Nor do I want to air all of our "dirty laundry". I know everyone of you reading this could make your own list. Some, more painful, and longer then mine. I write this to tell you that I'm no different then any of you.
It's life.
I've lived it.
I'm still living it.
It's not a Disney Show.
I do however have a grateful spirit. This, is a gift. Something that was given to me by my parents. Something they instilled in my siblings and I it seems, with every breath we took. To always know that things could be worse. Whenever we had a bad attitude and started complaining, my mom would always say,
"Go to your room, close the door, and don't come out until you have a smile on your face!"
(If you scroll back up to the photos above, you'll notice me. The one with the stupidly huge smile. :) I had losts of practice growing up.)
God has showed his faithfulness every minute, of every hour, of every day. Not once has He left my side. Not once has He abandoned me. He's held me up at times when I thought I couldn't even breathe.
He has brought Blue Eyes and I through things I never would have dreamed we would go through. Things that I thought were too hard, too hurtful, too long, and just plain stupid.
But God is who He says He is.
God.
The same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. And if you and I are the same, just different lives... then God is there not just for me, but for you. Yup, you. All you need to do is call his name. In the quietness of your heart. Or screaming it from the roof top. Where ever you are.
Just you and Him.
Now for another list. Things I am so grateful for... You knew this was coming didn't you. :)
-The deep love God has put in mine and Blue Eyes hearts for each other. It has endured and grown deeper over the 28 years of marriage.
-God has a way of healing the broken hearten. No matter how deep the wound.
- God always provides what we need. Always.
-Our oldest son, is safely home.
-God has it all under control... and I'm so glad because I certainly don't. ;)
That grateful spirit my mom and dad gave to us... I can only hope and pray I have given that gift to them. Their grandchildren.
Because this girl couldn't be more grateful for all God has given her.
Hugs From My Heart
